I lost over 120lbs and things got weirder than I was prepared for.

Published September 20, 2017 by Ellie

Screenshot_20170802-103747There’s no point me telling you how I did it, it’s boring. I’m afraid it involves a literal fuck-ton of diet and exercise, rather than a secret I discovered via a Facebook ad that promised to tell me why weight loss experts hate this grandmother. It also involves illness, which is another reason there’s no point me sharing, though I can confirm that escalating reflux is a pretty effective appetite suppressant.

But you came for the weird stuff, not life advice…

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Surgery recovery is so weird. 

Published August 22, 2017 by Ellie

Currently sleeping 10-14 hours a night, but I wake up sleepy! Sent this text to Hubbles this morning, but wanted to share! 

“Not sure what meds it’s related to [I’ve started a load of new ones and had to abruptly stop taking others that couldn’t be crushed], but my dreams are constant and exhausting. There’s a theme that runs all night throughout all my dreams, however much I try to wake up in between. Last night was hundreds of elaborate pastel 50s style cocktail dresses: from needing to design some for an urgent film production, then creating a high profile fashion show, then buying fabric for a TV show, then scouring vintage stores for some awards show, then hiring models for some viral marketing campaign, and the whole time someone was yelling in my ear, excitedly and loudly urging me to work faster and better and brighter, and making constant small suggestions. All night was just a colourful roar, like a too fast carousel.”

I had the same when I was in hospital, every time I woke up my ears were ringing so loud that I was sure I’d just screamed all night, but I’m sure someone would have mentioned it if I had.

I’ve never had this with other surgeries, it’s weird and interesting, but I’ll be glad when it passes. 

Ps. I have a few hundred design outlines if anyone’s in the market for elaborate 50s cocktail dresses.

Is Facebook dying? Can we sign a petition or change our profile pictures to help?

Published August 22, 2017 by Ellie

Why are people abandoning Facebook, or just not checking it as much? Here’s an example: I’ve been talking about my surgery for a few months, posted about it almost every day the week leading up to it, a few times a day while I was in hospital, and a couple of times a day since I got home. Yet for some of my friends and family, reading a version of this blog post I shared on Facebook will be the first time they’re hearing about it. I’ll feel obliged to go through it again to save them the trouble of finding the last week of my status updates.

Oh but dear Facebook, please show me GoT spoilers, a post with 347 comments from 3 participants arguing whether white supremacists have a point, something about wine with a picture of a minion next to it, and someone who’s profile picture is in black and white complaining about something wildly popular being irredeemably flawed and overrated. Show me those same posts at the top of my news feed every time for a full week and a half! PLEASE!

And while I have your attention, dear Facebook, that photo I posted had a FUCKING funny caption and I bet you showed it to three bloody people, you arsehole.

When your future is being debated by the media

Published July 27, 2017 by Ellie

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June 16th, 2015 saw the announcement of a presidential campaign which quickly discovered that the surest route to its success was demonising me. Not personally, I mean, I’m pretty amazing, but I haven’t managed to cause ripples quite that big. Yet.

Am I being overly dramatic? Yes. I’m documented, I’m not Latinx, I’m not Muslim, I’m not a refugee: those have been the main targets of that ongoing campaign. However, the particular visa which brought us to the US was specifically mentioned, I have been identified as a threat, the campaign gained support by promising to take action against me. And has since made good on that promise, though it’s acknowledged as largely symbolic, a gesture to his supporters. Read the rest of this entry →

Hiatus

Published July 1, 2017 by Ellie

I am back from my unplanned blog hiatus! I need to write more often, my writing muscles are withering away from disuse and my spark of creativity is barely glowing. Let’s get some oxygen up in here and get my writing heart back to fitness. Everything and nothing has changed in the years I’ve been unblogged, I’ve lost over 100 lbs and managed to get myself employable again! At least technically employable, I’m still a pretty poor prospect due to my impossibly high standards and crippling fear of success.  But yay me! I’m currently working on an article about immigration, it’s a hot topic at the moment, and for various reasons, I don’t feel well represented in the stories I’m reading. So I’m going to share my experiences, why immigration is a feminist issue, why it’s so much more complicated than is generally understood, and why I HATE HATE HATE the term ‘ex-pat’.

Gifts for a knitter

Published December 1, 2014 by Ellie

Got a knitter in your life? Don’t buy her yarn or needles, buy her some of this stuff instead. And yes, I said ‘her’, because 99.5% of knitters are women, HOWEVER, none of the things I’m about to suggest require a vagina to be effective, so if you’re buying for your freak of a male knitter, he’ll also get a kick out of this stuff. Read the rest of this entry →