Mornings are difficult.

Published May 12, 2018 by Ellie

How’s my brain today? I put sugar in my mug while making tea, forgot, freaked out that the mug I remembered taking from the clean dishwasher was full of bits, then washed it by hand because it’s my favourite, before pouring the tea and literally smacking my forehead when I reached for the sugar and realised.

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An open letter to my husband that he’s not expecting but had BETTER share so more people read my blog.

Published April 25, 2018 by Ellie

20180419_113335Dear Hubbles,

LOL, now the internet beyond Facebook knows what I call you. You’d be embarrassed if that sort of thing bothered you, but if that sort of thing bothered you, you probably wouldn’t have lasted so long sharing a life with me. This is going to be long, so don’t read this if you’re in the middle of a meeting, make sure you’re sat somewhere comfy and maybe grab a snack. Read the rest of this entry →

Why I love my weird saggy belly.

Published April 21, 2018 by Ellie

Had my second Pure Barre class today, enjoyed it so much more than the first one a couple of years ago, I have officially become a Pure Barre-bie! Wore a long sleeved yoga shirt, because the class involved moving, instead of carefully positioning myself using angles that hide my excess skin. I actually felt safe and confident enough that I would have felt comfortable taking the top shirt off tho. Maybe. In theory.

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Recipe: turkey meatloaf roulade

Published April 18, 2018 by Ellie

Turkey meatloaf roulade

Very few people would describe me as high maintenance, probably only three people, because they live with me, and only because their comparison data is inadequately small for statistically significant results. In line with the real housewife stereotype, I am very particular about my nails. I’ll go days without washing my hair, but I’ll do it with chic fingernails. This dedication means I’m regularly exposed to daytime TV at the nail salon and have developed a very one-sided but devoted relationship with Rachael Ray, whom I suspect may be alternate reality me.  Read the rest of this entry →

FINE! I’ll share my secret recipes, stop nagging me.

Published April 14, 2018 by Ellie

recipeoverviewI cook a lot, which you’d probably expect of someone who hates leaving the house as much as I do. Plus there’s children and a husband who need feeding most days (sometimes more than once a day, how rude). You may not expect me to love cooking quite as much as I do, and for someone who spent much of their adult life obese, you’d probably be surprised (and rude) to find out I prefer to cook than get take-out. As with my knitting I get a lot of praise, unlike my knitting I don’t take this praise well, but as with my knitting, it’s tough to suck at something you’ve done every day for 14 years. Read the rest of this entry →

Walk up, not out? Nice idea, however this is real life, not a video in health class.

Published March 17, 2018 by Ellie

As a former weird student, and current weird mother of two weird kids, I can only urge you to take this to heart. ‘Nerd’, ‘Jock’, and ‘dangerous loner’ aren’t the only options for school students, never have been. See the artist who expresses themselves not just on a screen or canvas, but of course in their clothes and hair. See the writer sat alone, watching, as the random bustle you see around them feeds them stories of dynasties rising, empires crumbling, sagas of love and vengeance.

I’m old enough and wise enough to handle (and judge) your treatment of us, but they aren’t. Tying their morality into their physical appearance confuses them.

Why have I started bleating about how much Black Lives Matter, among other things? Because as my girls get older and more expressive I’ve had to explain too many times why their friends have been told to stay away from them. Why horrible lies about them are believed. Why they don’t get many social invites. Why they get asked if I’ve been to prison. Why doctors insist on extra medical tests and subtle questions about parental abuse. Why we get followed around while shopping. Why strangers gasp and pull their children closer, sometimes feeling the need to say something loud enough for us to hear.

Imagine having no choice in that. I can cover my tattoos, I can dye my hair, I can dress more conventionally. Black people and other marginalised racial groups don’t have that option, understanding my privilege compared to their experience has been a tough but much needed lesson for me since we moved to America.

Lifting the spirits

Published March 8, 2018 by Ellie

Think I did a reverse catcall this week, one of those rare times you think of something amusing and just can’t help but say it. I told a lady in the lift that I liked her hat, a guy the other side of me looked startled then said quietly “On I thought you were talking to me, sorry!” and I said “No, sorry, YOUR hat really sucks.” His friend laughed so hard he had to lean on the wall for support, I felt a bit bad! And proud.

They both seemed like decent guys (tall sturdy contractors in high viz jackets), the hat in question was just a standard issue black beanie, but the idea that I might have really strong negative feelings about a completely innocuous hat on a stranger really tickled me! I think they didn’t expect such an earnest response, especially delivered in that fancy British accent of mine. It was such a sweet nugget of an exchange, like a tiny brilliant gem in my day!

His friend walked off the elevator giggling “sorry, your hat sucks, ahaha haha!!”.