Over the summer I sat down with my 9 year old and we had a very sensible discussion about periods. I explained that around the age of 13, your body decides to get ready to make a baby, so starts to make a safe place for one to grow. This happens every 4 weeks, whether or not you want a baby. It’s annoying, but that’s how it works. Once it realises there won’t be a baby, it clears out the safe place, and some of that stuff looks like blood….
Lots of questions, and patient, supportive answers, and utter horror that this happens to all women, even the Queen.
Then she says “Can we stop talking about it now? It’s really gross.”
I had a Mirena IUD since my youngest was born, and hadn’t had any periods for 9-ish years, so there was no menstrual paraphernalia cluttering up the house, but I recently decided to have it removed, for a variety of reasons, none of which include adding any more people to my family.
Last week my 8 year old saw a pack of sanitary towels and asked what they were. This was 2 minutes before leaving to go to school. I was thinking of a way to tell her we would talk about it another time, without making it sound like an ominous, exciting mystery, when my 9 year old twigged what they were for.
So the eldest yells “OH MY GOD YOU DON’T EVEN WANT TO KNOW, IT’S SO DISGUSTING” followed by a very condensed version of what I’d told her, ending with “AND THEN YOU PEE BLOOD!”
This is why I’m not paying their therapy bills when they’re older, they are going halves with each other.